In This Farewell Walking towards Darker Lights
By Sheikh Mohammad Fahim
The first step towards recovering from issues is realizing that there is one in the first place. Life has taught us in an extraordinary fashion that avoiding some problems is perhaps the best thing you can possibly do when confronted with one. However, unlike the day to day problems that present themselves and only last for the day, some problems can develop into life-threatening issues if left unattended.
Anyone who has social anxiety or have faced the cryptic enigma, that is depression, will understand as the quiet nagging voice in your head, never fleeting, keeps reminding you about the problems you faced today. It sears the fear of its repetition in the future and slowly the voice gets louder.
Today, I’m going to talk about self harm and the need for attention.
This thread will go on for a number of editions and I’ll speak on different issues as it goes on. Claiming to be an expert on this matter would be nothing short of blasphemy, and yet, I feel compelled to point out a few logical steps towards recovery.
If you are amongst those who are going to be pretentious and act like you don’t want attention, stop lying. It is understandable, however, if you are still gripped by the misconception that was conceived in your youth. I had the same ideals which, as the literal meaning of the word suggests, I believed to be perfect.
Only recently did I realize something. The ideals with which I shaped my thought process, my impulses and the entirety of my being were, in fact, not true.
They were not lies but they weren’t true. They fell under the category of grey, never true and yet never false, just a riddle. A riddle which can never be answered due to lack of experience, which a 1000 years on earth wouldn’t earn, and the lack of knowledge, which a billion books cannot teach.
As the days go on, everything I once knew is challenged and I look forward to correcting myself.
I was watching an episode of “Family Guy”, which is basically a much cruder show than the Simpsons and yet in the same category, and I came upon an instance where Meg, Peter’s teenage daughter, speaks out about self harm, briefly as it may be.
Family guy is twisted but there is always some truth in their sick jokes.
Peter, holding a knife, “Lois, if I was going to kill myself would I cut myself this way (sideways) or like this (longway).”
Meg replied, “Sideways for attention, longway for results.”
Lois remarked, “She’s right.”In that episode Peter talks about when he will kill himself, he’ll be loved and remembered. He’ll be given an entire page on the yearbook and everyone who ever mocked or hurt him will be sorry. While that is hilarious to a lot of people in a twisted way, it still rings with terrible truth.
Meg is a character who is constantly bullied, humiliated and tortured by the voices in her head. She is insecure about her appearance, her voice, just about everything about her. Never loved and never appreciated, Meg spends her time filled with self pity and dread, all the while still trying to function in society. Casted as a character to supply us with these twistered laughters and yet, Family Guy has materialized the issue in a very real way.It isn’t uncommon for you to have a friend who self harms, mostly out of love for someone who does not reply with the same intensity or out of self pity for not being the person they want themselves to be.
For a lot of people, the very idea of hurting yourself is stupid and irrational and it was the same with me until I realized something a few days ago.
to be continued