This woman has a husband, fiancé, two boyfriends, and they’re all happy together
Chandni Ganesh/Endo Riot
Mary Crumpton began exploring her sexuality at the age of 29 to find that she is polyamorous, which means she is interesting in being in a relationship with multiple partners.
Polyamory has existed across the world for centuries now. Though the term first arose around the 1990s, the practice has been around for a long time. Polyamory is defined as the desire for intimate relationships – sexual or otherwise – with multiple partners. This, however, is not like cheating as there is a clear line of consent involved. A polyamorous individual is honest about their other relationships, ensuring transparency, trust, love, and understanding. If you’re not convinced about how practical or achievable polyamorous relationships are or can be, let Mary Crumpton’s story persuade you of the value in polyamory. Crumpton currently has a husband, is engaged to another man, and has two boyfriends. This means she has more men in her life than the average 44-year-old.
She shared her story with Metro. Crumpton explained that she only started exploring her sexuality at the age of 29 as she was raised in a conservative environment. She disclosed, “I was brought up in quite a traditional home. I had boyfriends and was monogamous. Having more than one partner never crossed my mind. In my twenties, I got married and settled down in Chorlton fully intending to be with my husband for life.”
This often occurs with individuals who are not allowed to break past monogamous boundaries when they are younger.Crumpton continued, “At the time I didn’t really question having just one partner. It was normal.” However, how society decides what is ‘normal’ is more often than not, ostracizing those who do not fit into our traditional ideas of what is acceptable when it comes to dating and relationships. She confessed, “I did sometimes have feelings for other people, but I felt guilty about doing so and just took it as a sign that I didn’t love my husband enough. When the marriage didn’t work out, I met someone else, and started a monogamous relationship with him.
“So how did she learn of polyamory? It can be difficult when you feel alone as if you are the only person with feelings of guilt or shame for being interested in more than one person at a time.
“The idea that loving more than one person might not make me a terrible human being only dawned on me when, at a pub, I bumped into a person who had more than one partner,” Crumpton stated. “I had never come across it before, or the term ‘polyamory’ which means ‘more-than-one love’. I was quite shocked and curious about how it all worked for them.”When she met this individual, she was with her partner at the time. He was, to her relief, curious about the practice as well. However, the couple did not decide to break their monogamous relationship just yet. It was only a few years later that Crumpton brought up the idea. She suggested to her partner that they try out what it’s like to be in an open relationship, a consensually nonmonogamous relationship between two people. He agreed and they both found an additional partner each.That was when Crumpton experienced a moment of liberation. She revealed, “I took to it immediately. I had a friend that I was already close to and that friendship drifted very naturally into something more. My partner had a similar experience with a friend of his. It was a revelation to me.
I quickly realized that I had been ‘wired up’ this way probably all my life – loving more than one person now seems like the most natural thing in the world to me and I can’t imagine being any other way.”Currently, she is no longer with the partner she first explored her polyamory with. At present, she is married to Tim, 43, and has a fiancé she will have a commitment ceremony with at Chorlton Unitarian Church. In addition to this, Crumpton is dating two different men, Michael, 63, and James, 73. She claims that cohabitating with two of her partners has many advantages. “One of the lovely things about a life with more than one partner is that there is no pressure on one person to supply all my needs.
My husband Tim and I share an enthusiasm for environmentalism and all that entails, like electric cars, and veganism. With my fiancé John I enjoy watching science fiction and we go to church together,” she said. I am very honest and open with my partners about my feelings and needs, in a way that I didn’t have the courage to be in previous monogamous relationships. So I think I have grown as a person, and have better and stronger relationships now. Of course, all of that is possible in monogamous relationships, and I am not suggesting polyamory is in any way better, just different. But it works well for me personally.”